During the past month or so, I’ve been thinking a lot about reigning in my emotions. Restlessness, grumpiness, discontentment – they’ve all been bubbling up more noticeably lately and I’ve tried to contemplate and work through my need to control my emotions. After Garret sweetly talked through it with me and I discussed it with some of my close friends, these conversations reminded me about healthy ways to view and deal my emotions.
In the midst of wedding planning and preparing for marriage, and working and everything else, emotions fluctuate frequently – and seemingly inevitably. I sometimes struggle with the balance of not ignoring emotions, but also not completely embracing them as true.
I’m working on remembering that emotions are red flags. They should really not be ignored, but they also should not necessarily be immediately trusted. You feel what you feel – that can’t be disputed, even if your feelings may be not based on truth. If you ignore those red flags, that will only lead to more strife. So, I’ve been working on recognizing unusual emotions as indicators that something is up – something that needs to be addressed.
I had a small victory one day last week: at the end of the work day I felt overwhelmed and angry, and instead of immediately calling Garret and venting, I drove to a nearby park, parked my car, and prayed and cried and (loudly) asked God hard questions. And as crazy as I felt, it was so much more productive than expecting a person to fix my issues. Being honest with the Lord is so freeing, and it’s so comforting to know that even on the days when I can’t stop crying, and if I’m honest don’t really want to stop, He loves me and wants me and doesn’t think I’m crazy.
I think that emotions are sometimes unruly things for us as women. But, God really did create them for good purposes, and they are one thing that makes us beautiful, and wonderfully complicated. Importantly, emotions are one way in which we reflect our Creator. Although the Lord is steadfast and unchanging, He does passionately love, get angry, and remembers with compassion. Our heart can be a picture of His heart. And, our feelings are important to Him.
I hope this post made sense. It had been stewing in my mind for a while. Coming soon – advice on self control and emotions from the book Feminine Appeal by Carolyn Mahaney.